Author: Veronica Lichtenstein, LMHC
May 17, 2023
Whether you’re in a relationship or looking to get into one, your partner is likely to get a closer look into your bedroom than most people at some point. You only have one chance to make a good first impression. So what are 5 things you should never have in your bedroom? Take a humorous and somewhat practical, look:
Gun collection - For obvious safety reasons, it can be dangerous and confusing. It may also show a general distrust for others and could be a mood killer if your date thinks that you are prepared for danger.
Bills or other personal papers – keep all that stuff in a separate work space. It also protects your privacy. The bedroom is meant for rest and relaxation, not budgeting and fiscal planning. It may also connote that you are all work and no play.
Acne, steroidal, anti fungal creams… - You get the jist. Your potential partner does not need to know your health challenges off the bat. Even if you’re in a committed relationship, it’s not hot to see Blistex by the bedside and start thinking of cold sores.
Photos of yourself – It may look like you’re high maintenance, have great self-importance and are arrogant. It may scare off potential partners thinking that you “are too much.”
Food/open garbage – just ewwww. Garbage attracts bugs and other critters. No one wants to feel like they’re sleeping at a fraternity house.
I had a client who was really freaked out by his love interest’s large gun collection, which was prominently displayed in her bedroom. He wondered out loud why there were so many and she claimed her ‘Second Amendment right to own them.’ True, but it was a buzz kill for him. Any heavy talk about controversial things (politics, religion) in the very beginning of a relationship can frighten people away and may cause you to be judged unfairly. There’s nothing wrong with being a gun aficionado, but save those stories to share outside of the bedroom. Until you’re sure where your potential significant other may stand on any heavy topic, it’s better to keep it light. Besides, what if your date mistakes one for a sex toy?
In general, you should always be yourself in a relationship. However, upon first meeting someone and getting to know them, there is such a thing as TMI. Keep your private papers out of sight. Knowing personal financial information about you, like your social security number, only comes after trust and connection is established. There’s nothing that kills the mood more than papers accidentally catching on fire from the candles burning in your bedroom to establish a romantic ambience. Why take the chance? The same goes for any medical issues or hygiene challenges. I think the exceptions are obvious. Having an inhaler by your bed because you have asthma is much more acceptable than a tube of Preparation H for hemorrhoids.
A great-looking partner helps the chemistry in the beginning of a relationship. However, it’s truly what’s on the inside of a person that will keep the relationship going and cause it to grow. Men and women want to be with other nice men and women long-term. If your date walks into your bedroom and sees a shrine of you everywhere, they may take a step back. That alone does not mean you are a conceited person, but they may wonder if you are too high maintenance or selfish. Having pictures of your pets, beloved family members etc. is a softer, nicer touch and it sends the message that you love others and that you are loved. It may also give your date incentive to make it to the picture wall too!
Making it to the bedroom in the beginning of a relationship is a good thing (if both are consenting). You only get one chance to make a good first impression. Having fancy sheets and a fengshui vibe are bonuses, but they are not deal breakers for most, unless your date is a decorator, maybe. The most important thing is that your very private space is kept clean and tidy. You want your partner to look forward to getting in bed with you.